Virtual Crack

Virtual Crack– a mom's fight against technodeath!
     “The statistics are alarming: in a week, only 6 percent of children ages 9-13 play outside on their own and kids 8 to 18 spend an overwhelming 53 hours a week using entertainment media” (The Nature Conservancy 2008).
       When 1,000 students spanning the globe were asked to go just 24 hours without their technology, the majority were unable to keep their commitment to do so. Many suggested they had zero ideas of what else to do with their time and were “bored”(Chait 2013).

     This information really hits home! It hits my home, where my 12 year old son lives, specifically across
the hall from where I sit writing tis blog...I can see the heavy and mysteriously closed door. The door is
covered in a thick layer of glossy white paint and sports an antique glass knob and old brass key plate,
but don't be fooled by the quaint appearance. Evil lurks beyond that door. There are nameless zombies
hacked into stillness, mystical dragons breathing fire, idiots daring unbelievable acts of stupidity, and
complex marble towers that defy physics! These events unfold with regularity, during after-school
snacks, deep into the night of a blood-red moon, and often involve not only entire gangs of listless,
sarcastic youth but also profane men and seductive women I've never even met! Let's not even go into
the utter deterioration of our once beautiful English language, or should I just say our OBEL. That's
right...all this behind that door.
     And when that door opens...out steps the reserved and wiry baby-faced child I still tuck into bed on
occasion. He has no body hair and wears only batman fleece pajama pants. It is clear that when he
exits this room and takes the time to breath some fresh air, air free from teenage sock smog and boy
sweat, he has only one of two purposes: either he needs to use the toilet or he's intent on gathering
some form of microwavable sustenance.
     Then it's right back to the virtual cave of private adventures no sane mother wants to witness ever.
     This begs the question, how do I get my kid to unplug? How do I lure my precious maturing human
child away from the grips of Xbox Live, 3DS, his shiny white Chromebook and texting his friends?
How do I get him to have a face to face stimulating conversation, physically interact with the
wilderness and independently find the impetus for LIVING in REALITY? How do I get my kid to
appreciate a creative mind that does not require electronics nor a drawn out argument that fuels a
hostile home? Let me just toss in the added bonus of a child with little to no interest in team sports.
This is not the entire issue of course, but it's worth mentioning. I know it is cruel, but I have been
known to refer to my child as an amoeba.
     Well....actually....I'm not always sure what the solution is. Sometimes I take step toward it and get so
much resistance, I throw up my arms, swear viciously under my breath, and leave the house alone.
     Sometimes, though, I win. And that victory is so sweet and rewarding I believe we must never fully
give up our mission to save the spiritual lives of our children. I'm serious. This is about the very real
soul of my child, a soul I intend to save.
     Consequently, I now share some possible actions, if implemented with a courageous heart and a
reasonable sense of authority, that just might be a START, not unlike the very first steps Dorothy took
to follow the yellow brick road.
     First, set up an appointment with your child for negotiations. This is an agreed upon time for a one to
one discussion, with no electronic interruptions allowed, to determine the ground rules for a change.
Make it known that you are in charge, but you wish to COMPROMISE with clear boundaries on times,
subject matter, rules involving participation of friends and strangers, visitors and intruders. Also make
it clear that what others do in their own homes under more or less rigidity is not in any way a matter of
importance. This is your home, your family and your souls.
     Secondly, before suggesting a set time allowed on the electronics per day, consider and brainstorm what
activities you believe are important aside from the virtual one. For me, this included a few MUSTS and
a few IDEALS. In our home, if the MUSTS are met with an occasional IDEAL, I have no limit on the
time left over for my son's choice to “game”. Instead of the dreary stopwatch and monitoring of time, I
have found that this other path actually has more positive results in the end. Here is a current chart of
our MUSTS and IDEALS:
Daily MUSTS 
Three Chores as determined by
ability and need.
Personal Hygiene
Bedroom Picked up
Homework done at a specific
time until complete
Effort to participate in dinner
conversation
20 minute visit with any family
members
Minimum of 30 minutes
outdoors.
30 minutes of reading at bed
time - no electronics during or
after
Weekly MUSTS
Two larger chores per week such
as mowing lawn or getting all
garbage out to curb and new
liners in receptacles, or washing
the kitchen floor.
Two activities outside of the
home and offline.
Violin Practice
IDEALS
Maintaining his own garden
Violin
Bicycling
Playground
Reading
Family plans: visits, restaurants,
museums, games, plays,
concerts, camping
Fishing
Cooking/Baking
Library/Bookstore
     The third action is creating a reward system for new electronics. There will always be a need for more
games, newer technology and additional apps. Use it to your advantage! This summer, my son is
babysitting a family friend one day a week for an approximate total of 60 hours. I purchased his DS
hand-held gaming system up front with the agreement that should he get lazy as a babysitter, I would
remove the DS. I haven't had to do that yet. Turns out, he likes the kid, and it provides some structure
to his summer as well!
     Finally, talk to your child often about their electronics! The more you allow them to share this virtual
interest with you, discuss what they are learning from it, and you ask them sincere questions, the more
they feel understood and a bit more open to what you have in mind. In other words, OPEN THE DOOR
now and then and show them the same interest you wish to see from them!